A Geezer walks into a bar.. Big mistake. He should of walked into a pub instead, or ‘the local’. The British struggle to accept the fact that they never see the sun so I think going into a warm dark place with alcohol helps with that. Instead of meeting people for a coffee like I did in Melbourne, you go to the pub for a pint.
It’s honestly the dream.
Also I’ve been to a pub in Edinburgh where you can literally buy 1litre pints and it comes in a bucket. Australia, take note.
So what makes an English pub name?
Now I don’t know who this ‘Duke of Wellington’ guy is but Jesus Christ, he is a heavily influential name in the pub scene with half of the pubs in the UK named after him. Actually, there’s a lot of Duke’s with pubs named after them, like the Duke of York, Duke of Edinburgh, just ‘The Duke’. Like seriously?? Can someone make me a Duke.
After 12 months abroad though, it’s got me thinking, what makes the UK pub names so iconic (and common)?
The Duke of Wellington (or another random duke)
The Churchill arms
Kings Head? or maybe Queens arms?
Red Lion or Royal oak?
Something to do with a swan or a plough?
Prince of wales or the rose and crown?
All these of course have signs written in Ye Olde writing or of course the classic Times New Roman…
THEN of course there’s the whole Fosters dilemma, if you’re not from Aus and you’re reading this, Fosters is a beer that is infamously Straya’n everywhere but Aus. I legitimately thought it was made up like unicorns or fairies but apparently it is an ‘Australian beer’
QUOTE: ‘Established Melbourne 1888’ but brewed in THE NETHERLANDS. So I kinda feel like my life is a bit of a lie.
So, if you are an Aussie, you’ll be smart and play up the whole ‘Yeah we ride Kangaroos to work, Steve Irwin’s my uncle and I went to school with Margot Robbie’ and next thing you know you’ll have rounds of fosters being brought for you left right and centre (because even though fosters tastes like piss, it’s free, I’m broke and I’ll drink it).
Still, despite all this. I genuinely think Britain are the Pub-ery masters and I pray that the rest of the world will eventually catch onto the 3l bottles of cider and Strongbow Dark Fruits and I can have a constant flow of Frosty Jacks in my fridge.
Thanks for reading this nonsence,
Love Mads aka The Confused Australian