Double decker buses are death traps of doom

IMG_0500.jpgHonestly, they are.

You don’t believe me? Okay, let me explain..

Double decker busses are part of the iconic image of London, but they are killers.

It’s the mad rush with your phone on 1% and you don’t have a charger, the moment when someone says ‘we need to talk’ and that excruciating feeling of near death when you stub your toe all rolled into one.

So it was my first time in London, ticking off the tourist checklist:

Big Ben, London Bridge, Shit weather, Those big lion things I always end up walking past when I’m lost…

And satan’s offspring (double decker busses)

So for all you guys that haven’t faced near death on a double decker, let me explain.

  1. Jump on, have your oyster or bus ticket ready to g.o
  2. QUICKLY tap on
  3. Run (ohhhh and I mean RUN) up the stairs to the top level note: if you ride on the bottom level you are weak and what is the point of riding a DOUBLE decker bus if you are not going to ride on the top level…
  4. If you’ve made it to step 4 without falling down the stairs because the bus took off too fast, congrats. You are the people we all aspire to be like
  5. Get to the top, find a seat (by the way this is the only time it’s cool to sit at the front) 
  6. Be prepared to miss your stop, if you hear your stop. Grab your stuff and run down the stairs PRONTO
  7. If you miss your stop, don’t panic. Just pray to the freaking GODS that the next stop isn’t too far away
  8. When you make it down the stairs without falling over quickly leave and promise yourself that you’ll never go through that sort of trauma again

p.s if you ride on the bottom level you are weak and natural selection will catch up to you one day soon xoxox

Love, 

Madi, the confused Australian

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